Is It To Hard To Ask? #DepressionChats

Today is the last day of 2014 and once again, I can't sleep.. Maybe because I have too much on my mind. Thinking about how things have gone over the past year and how lonely my life is. That is probably mostly my doing and now I hate it. I am so wrapped up in my little cocoon of solitude and comfort because that is all I know. I have come across people that make me happy and those that have brought me down to a level that was hard to travel back to the happy place. I have gone through so many family tragedies and issue at home that the life I want is hindered. Playing a mom since you were so young is never fun and for those who understand, you know what I mean. It is hard for me to have relationships with people since I have such a wall built that is so strong so the true me wont shine through.

What I Got For Christmas 2014!!!

Allo friends! Today I am going to tell you what I got for Christmas from co-workers to family! Some of the gifts I have been using since I love using it now! One is from a NP that I work with and what I picked smelled AMAZING! If you want to find out what I got then please keep reading!

Merry Christmas!!!

Allo everyone! I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of my readers! I hope that you have a great holiday with your families and eat a lot. Spending time with everyone during the holidays makes me feel loved and happy. I will be home with my parents and little brother in our little apartment and the cat.
I hope everyone gets many items they "wished" for and talk to y'all soon!!!

  Shannon :)  

Holiday Gift 2014

Allo everyone...

Every year I make a gift for my friends every year. Last year I made gift bags designed for each person. Nail polish kits with their zodiac sign; Favourite candies; And other things to make it personalized to the person I gave it too.. This year I decided to go in with the mason jar theme and that tied in my Southern heritage; also tying in winter, hehe...

This years idea came about since I had most of the items planned out and just needs a few more things to add. Also. the mason jars were planned since you can use them for so many things! From drinks to storage to canning you can do wonders with them. This was also a low budget gift that you can personalize them anyway!

What I Have Been Going Through

Heyy y'all... I know that it is around Christmas time- for those who celebrate or for those that celebrate Chanukah or Kwanzaa... For me: the holidays bring up some deep issues and memories that I wish I can leave in my past..

Six years ago this year I lost a great woman and the third grandparent of mine to pass: Grandma Bason or Grandma B... I spent my holiday break in a funeral home and a mausoleum saying goodbye to a woman that I loved so much. But, I know that she isn't suffering anymore and she is playing her favourite slot machines as much as she wants. With the three most recent deaths of my family across the board, this holiday season will not be the best and a struggle and a major adjustment for everyone in the family.

Lately I have been depressed and lonely. I don't have many friends and I just sit in my room. With having no one to hang out with, it feels like no one likes me for the me and that truly makes me sad. I have learned that people use the weak link to rise above and big shocker here: I am the weak link :(
 Learning how to deal with everything is a bumpy road and my recovery will be long. I don't give a flying f*!k about everyone else, it is all about me and that is IT!!! I am in therapy right now to just vent and find ways to deal with everything.

With the depression, all I want to do is get cozy in bed, drink tea, and watch either Netflix or TV. On top of that, I like going out but only if it is fun or something in that realm. My definition of fun differs from my friends and that I think is what pisses them off.. During the week, I don't really like to go out unless it is relaxing. My friends work days and I work nights after a long day of cleaning and laundry. Some nights I just want to be alone and some I just want to have company, Some say being single is the greatest thing and some say having a partner is worth it; I have never been on a proper date and been single my whole life. Some days I think that having a boyfriend would help so I can just stop thinking about everything but again being single allows me to work at my goals and stay calm.

So, that is pretty much what is going on with me lately and again I am sorry for not posting anything. This lonely lovely lady is working hard everyday to try and stay happy. Hope everyone understands and talk to y'all very soon!

 Shannon

#Holidaze

Allo everyone! I know that now it is December and everyone is getting ready for the holidays. I have been getting ready for the holidays and birthdays of my friends. I know that I have been absent and I will have a post about that coming up on why and I would love to apologize in the coming post... And I will be posting a gift guide that I am doing this year for my family. And maybe some holiday looks with makeup and nails! Only a maybe but I will have to check my schedule.
Again, hope is well and happy with everyone. Talk with y'all very soon!

And here is a video of my best photos from 2013-2014