How I Deal With the Pain

I know it has been a while and the pain has been a real factor for me. This article is about something that most of my family doesn't even know. It is something that I have dealt with for many years and it has been a painful ride. I still suffer but now as much as I use to before treatments. My life has changed so much since I was diagnosed and I have been through the ringer...
For the last four years, maybe five I have been dealing with the fact of many side effects. I have been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS for short. PCOS has changed the way of life since I was diagnosed. I am living my life how I want to and I deal with the obstacles that I am thrown. From the severe cramping and long periods to severe abdominal and back pain, it has been pure hell!
I noticed that I was never getting my periods on time. They were always either late or would never come. Missing one was fine, but when months would go by I knew something was strange. I went to my doctor and she asked me a bunch of questions and told me what I had. I just sat there as she told me what it was and why. Many women have it and every case is different. I dealt with my symptoms and hid it since then. I started going to the gym and eating right and I have to say, it was hard. I just wanted everything to go away.
Once I was adjusted to my medication, everything seemed to be okay. Fast forward to May 2018; I am happy living my life with my man, working, and then one day at work I feel a sharp pain. Having pelvic pain comes with the territory but this was the worst it has ever been. I couldn't get comfy sitting at work and I just had to leave. I went to an urgent care and get looked out. After all of the tests and things, they told me that a cyst had ruptured and that was the cause of all of my pain.
Once I left the urgent care center, I made an appointment with a gynecologist to get checked out and have an ultrasound as well to make sure everything was better. My appointment went okay and I was given a lot of information that as I soon as I got into my car, I balled until I almost made myself sick. My poor boyfriend on the other end of the phone couldn't do anything to help me. PCOS has always been there but all of the things I was told but my life into perspective. Growing up, I wanted to have a huge family since I have a big extended family... those dreams were crushed when told the only way to start a family is through IVF and that is something that I am not sure that I want to go through and all of the expenses that go with it. It has made me rethink my purpose in life.
Since May I have been given so much info and I have been doing things to help with the symptoms. I also have been looking on Pinterest, Googe, and PCOS sites to find things that will help and to connect with other like me!
There is a site that I do recommend for anyone like me and it is called MyPCOSTeam and click here to go to the site. The community is full of ladies that have PCOS and share what is going on in their lives. It is something that I brushed off in the past but now I check it every day and connect with others. I started eating better and taking my meds like it should. Some days I do not take my meds and there are some things that will make me snap and spiral. I feel like I am a burden to my boyfriend and the mood swings are a handful but he is always there for me.

This is something that my family doesn't even know that I suffer with. I have come to terms with the fact I may never have kids of my own and that I am helping raise my boyfriend's kid. I have learned that my feelings are always going to be there and I have to deal with them. I am living with a lot of things and I am glad to have found others like me. I am not living with guilt or in the shadows anymore. I am not missing going out with family and friends or having to live in my room in pain.
I am living my life and there is nothing that will stop me!

I will share my progress and treatments in another post but I wanted to share what is the new me! Thanks y'all!!!

   Shannon