Allo pals! Hope all is well and in a past post, I had said that I will be posting updates regarding my depression and how I am doing. What I am going to do is post a weekly summary of how my depression is and my feelings, thoughts, and actions of dealing with it. I have been battling depression for several years now and I am slowly healing like others.
My depression steams from having to be a parent to my parents and my little brother. My parents are addicts to drugs and alcohol; and that has made me step up to take care of my little brother and I since I was roughly ten or eleven years of age.
All week I just feel sad and lonely. I don't like to do anything that I used to with my friends. And my friends and I don't go out like we used too. We all have different work schedules, different times to hang out, hard to get a hold of, and it has caused me to just be a home body and do nothing.
I start the day off happy and as the day go on, I start to think about my friends, the relationships I have with my friends and family, work; and it becomes a sad angry day. I just sit in my room and pass the time reading or watchin' tv. Sometimes dreaming about the day I move out of the US and never come back. Clean slate, clean start to where nothing of my past will not haunt me, New people and place to see. My dream is to live in Ireland or England.
Like today, Sunday, all I want to do is sleep and do nothing, My loneliness is a greater force than the will to actually do something. My therapist and I are working on ways to get me back into the swing of things. My friends don't talk to me like they use to, and I understand that we all work. But I have a feeling that most of the time it is my depression. Most of my friends are always with their boyfriends and I know that but still sometimes friends need to be with friends, significant at home.
Now, it is time to go back to watchin' Friends on Netflix and play games on my phone.
Talk to y'all next time :/
Shannon
No comments:
Post a Comment