I know this is a late night post and my first in about a year almost. But many things are going through my head and I am going to explode and I need to do something.
I know that "the man upstairs" has a plan for everyone. But we all won't know ours until later in life.
Everyone have hurdles and jumps and handles it differently.
How come it still hurts to get up?
I am a young woman that is going to be twenty years old and still has pain from
over 10 years ago and still going strong about it.
Pressures from work and to find a new one,
trying to find a good insurance plan,
looking for health insurance,
and trying to get over people that you truly care about;
how can you make it all just wash away?
Just pick up and go away?
Forget is all ever happened and live with the guilt?
Live with the agony that will get you in a dark place?
I have the experience of being in that dark place,
and it is no fun to be in.
I have been stuck in this rut for years and
it has become my home and I haven't left it.
I am the cool collected person in the corner
when I just wanna cry and have someone
in my corner to be there.
I had that and now I don't.
Will I ever have that feeling again?
There is this old Irish tradition of the Claddagh ring,
I wear mine with the heart facing out, meaning that no one has my heart.
But if someone has my heart, I will have the heart facing my body.
And I currently wear my ring on my right ring finger.
You can also use it as an engagement/wedding ring too.
I used to wear my ring like i was in a relationship because I was;
I was in one with myself.
